apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
