Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
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Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
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One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's blow job season.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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