I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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