She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize