you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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