Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
