I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
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Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
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You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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