That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
