she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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