He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
