I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
