i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
