You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
