Apparently you make a good broom.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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