just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
