if you like me you must not know who I am
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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