thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him