Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese. (717): Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days? http://tfl.nu/n2pa
  Replies (6) Good night (3435) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  i wish starbucks made bloody marys

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): i wish starbucks made bloody marys http://tfl.nu/p9ip
  Replies (21) Good night (3920) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle? http://tfl.nu/8gva
  Replies (47) Good night (4964) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave

  (703): View more from Virginia

  and miss being on the news....no way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave (703): and miss being on the news....no way http://tfl.nu/gtrx
  Replies (21) Good night (8716) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!! http://tfl.nu/05kd
  Replies (15) Good night (4806) Bad night (1659)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise. http://tfl.nu/c0nn
  Replies (11) Good night (2243) Bad night (4909)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again. http://tfl.nu/9aen
  Replies (10) Good night (3588) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you http://tfl.nu/9k47
  Replies (8) Good night (2254) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am. http://tfl.nu/mad5
  Replies (7) Good night (1497) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks. http://tfl.nu/jloo
  Replies (11) Good night (791) Bad night (2436)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/lsrh
  Replies (6) Good night (2422) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth? http://tfl.nu/1qlq
  Replies (13) Good night (1642) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  how did you know?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something? (614): is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'? (330): how did you know? http://tfl.nu/tzki
  Replies (5) Good night (2367) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity http://tfl.nu/7cj4
  Replies (2) Good night (820) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam http://tfl.nu/zq91
  Replies (3) Good night (173) Bad night (538)

Randomize