Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
