i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
3 2 1 whiskey
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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