Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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