walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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