okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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