a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
