Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
