So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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