I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.