Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?

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  (541): If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs? http://tfl.nu/k19f
  Replies (20) Good night (6102) Bad night (878)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?

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  (402): he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now? http://tfl.nu/i3gk
  Replies (23) Good night (1020) Bad night (8046)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees

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  (360): He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees http://tfl.nu/gf2k
  Replies (19) Good night (4986) Bad night (2759)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  first off, his name is dougie. strike one.

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  (248): first off, his name is dougie. strike one. http://tfl.nu/yrg3
  Replies (22) Good night (1102) Bad night (4666)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.

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  (662): After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do. http://tfl.nu/mztj
  Replies (9) Good night (3389) Bad night (1023)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.

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  (952): I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing. http://tfl.nu/jvox
  Replies (25) Good night (1704) Bad night (3608)
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  (805): View more from California

  I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.

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  (805): I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax. http://tfl.nu/bw4v
  Replies (8) Good night (1004) Bad night (1831)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.

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  (860): They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm. http://tfl.nu/gqaa
  Replies (4) Good night (1769) Bad night (804)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.

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  (704): We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms. http://tfl.nu/m17c
  Replies (6) Good night (3081) Bad night (627)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card

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  (928): I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card http://tfl.nu/lhlg
  Replies (5) Good night (530) Bad night (1079)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.

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  (253): You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded. http://tfl.nu/x9oy
  Replies (2) Good night (968) Bad night (514)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.

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  (513): These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours. http://tfl.nu/mjj7
  Replies (2) Good night (992) Bad night (406)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs

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  (330): If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs http://tfl.nu/drl4
  Replies (2) Good night (1452) Bad night (313)
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  (510): View more from California

  There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.

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  (510): There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do. http://tfl.nu/onee
  Replies (2) Good night (491) Bad night (297)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Why is your ex naked in my apartment?

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  (303): Why is your ex naked in my apartment? http://tfl.nu/6n7i
  Replies (3) Good night (373) Bad night (459)

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