Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.

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  (813): i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table. http://tfl.nu/iec6
  Replies (87) Good night (725) Bad night (7757)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again

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  (727): I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again http://tfl.nu/kvos
  Replies (7) Good night (1013) Bad night (2579)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too

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  (210): I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too http://tfl.nu/8tiw
  Replies (10) Good night (7387) Bad night (826)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick

  (305): View more from Florida

  I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.

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  (786): She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick (305): I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius. http://tfl.nu/szcg
  Replies (18) Good night (3895) Bad night (1548)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb

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  (918): When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb http://tfl.nu/ycga
  Replies (3) Good night (892) Bad night (2179)
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  She said she wanted to have closure sex.

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  (848): She said she wanted to have closure sex. http://tfl.nu/0dyj
  Replies (9) Good night (3798) Bad night (1091)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?

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  (250): Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila? http://tfl.nu/i07w
  Replies (7) Good night (1785) Bad night (760)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.

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  (864): the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation. http://tfl.nu/dzey
  Replies (5) Good night (2362) Bad night (631)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.

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  (817): Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s. http://tfl.nu/orrl
  Replies (3) Good night (2637) Bad night (693)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.

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  (336): I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat. http://tfl.nu/ctm6
  Replies (5) Good night (1705) Bad night (487)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.

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  (708): It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin. http://tfl.nu/e5ml
  Replies (12) Good night (925) Bad night (536)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.

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  (479): Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical. http://tfl.nu/g3fg
  Replies (1) Good night (713) Bad night (359)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.

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  (561): I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face. http://tfl.nu/v359
  Replies (6) Good night (349) Bad night (597)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?

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  (208): So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/wzsh
  Replies (6) Good night (528) Bad night (329)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.

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  (914): Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants. http://tfl.nu/muni
  Replies (0) Good night (393) Bad night (216)

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