Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.

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  (503): idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him. http://tfl.nu/3ewm
  Replies (20) Good night (2890) Bad night (608)
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  (510): View more from California

  They should really pass out barf bags in church

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  (510): They should really pass out barf bags in church http://tfl.nu/wu06
  Replies (16) Good night (2247) Bad night (931)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much

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  (609): We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much http://tfl.nu/4hfy
  Replies (17) Good night (1479) Bad night (3686)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.

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  (405): I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny. http://tfl.nu/uleh
  Replies (30) Good night (5773) Bad night (1200)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.

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  (303): We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework. http://tfl.nu/20mk
  Replies (7) Good night (2005) Bad night (861)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?

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  (618): I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day? http://tfl.nu/kj71
  Replies (11) Good night (1340) Bad night (3248)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children

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  (312): please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children http://tfl.nu/5h1t
  Replies (8) Good night (1893) Bad night (808)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.

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  (989): Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment. http://tfl.nu/uqhq
  Replies (20) Good night (3103) Bad night (979)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET

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  (613): Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET http://tfl.nu/m2li
  Replies (6) Good night (1619) Bad night (652)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other

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  (703): Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other http://tfl.nu/yr17
  Replies (1) Good night (1388) Bad night (502)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.

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  (215): she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here. http://tfl.nu/hoyt
  Replies (8) Good night (963) Bad night (728)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?

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  (702): Would I waste your time for mediocre porn? http://tfl.nu/88ga
  Replies (2) Good night (677) Bad night (313)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me

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  (816): Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me http://tfl.nu/eiw2
  Replies (5) Good night (1089) Bad night (507)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  ...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"

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  (651): ...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering" http://tfl.nu/5vg0
  Replies (0) Good night (431) Bad night (543)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.

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  (917): Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/0uc8
  Replies (2) Good night (345) Bad night (1030)

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