Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.

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(503): Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy. http://tfl.nu/7ct1

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(209): View more from California

I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.

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(209): I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two. http://tfl.nu/goqt

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(585): View more from New York

I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.

(1-585): View more from New York

You are so irish.

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(585): I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better. (1-585): You are so irish. http://tfl.nu/pewr

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(315): View more from New York

making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke

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(315): making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke http://tfl.nu/o15u

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night

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(715): woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night http://tfl.nu/5q0r

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(440): View more from Ohio

my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.

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(440): my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement. http://tfl.nu/zd8a

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(614): View more from Ohio

she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.

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(614): she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie. http://tfl.nu/xhiw

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(203): View more from Connecticut

So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?

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(203): So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu. (603): You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use? http://tfl.nu/ks5w

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(217): View more from Illinois

Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.

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(217): Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times. http://tfl.nu/ij34

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?

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(918): Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision? http://tfl.nu/w6zq

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest

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(250): I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest http://tfl.nu/zut9

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Life is too short to have fake orgasms.

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(412): Life is too short to have fake orgasms. http://tfl.nu/1oh4

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(209): View more from California

The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.

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(209): The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be. http://tfl.nu/3gjr

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?

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(902): I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat? http://tfl.nu/t6q6

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls

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(270): Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls http://tfl.nu/fmy4

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