Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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