yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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