I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
