did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
