someone threw a dead crab at me
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
