i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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