don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
