your parents love me but you hate me
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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