I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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