I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
