so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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