im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
and you fell through a lawn chair
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
