Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
