Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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