I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just puked most of my soul out..
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
