Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
