seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
