so explain again why im purple
no
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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