no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
How drunk are you?
Completed.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
