And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
