so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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