I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
