I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My penis needs a shock collar
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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