That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
