I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
