I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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