what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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