theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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