youre lurking in front of me
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you would pick up someone in the library
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
