I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
