If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
