"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
