Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
