I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
