This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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