bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
