yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
